|
ting, 5th feb 84, north.
little prince
| ||
|
BrushPast "People leap into express trains but they no longer know what they're looking for. So they get agitated and go round in circles." |
What is essential is invisible to the eye...
Thursday, September 30, 2004it feels empty.it is empty. it feels something missing. it feels sad. it is crying. it was shouting for you when you turned your back towards me.. it called for you when i saw both of bidding farewell. it was tearing when you left without looking back. it feels sour when i read your... and... realised you still think of... it wants to erase you off. tonight. it pours its woes out now because it knows you wont get to know about it at all. it is my heart. " TC, YWBM. " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 10:59:00 PM*
YingXiong was captured by Huang Shang. Cun Gu was about to be married off to Cai Zhu as Qie. Cun Gu sits by the river, crying. "Ying Xiong you suo wei, you suo bu wei! Shi wo ta ma de tian zhen, yi wei ni hui hui lai!" This moment, Ying Xiong appears from behind. "Shi wo..." Cun Gu was shocked "Ni zen me..." Ying Xiong " Wo tao pao chu lai. he liu bu hui si. ce suo ye bu hui si! wo yao qu zhao jian ce suo shou ce!" And he left, leaving behind Cun Gu, all alone. "Ying xiong! Bu guan ni hui dao na li.. wo ye yi ding ba ni zhao hui lai!!!!" -shithole, by li xie (lin bao bao)- brilliant! " jun zi you suo wei...
*ting had a flower @ 3:35:00 PM*
met up with the greasies for dinner. (sw, jiaz, moon, cels, mq, ahle, dor, ct, dssy, wall, bear, me) lots and lots of fun... took lots of pics as well.. (click on my yahoo pics) really la.. cant help but wonder.. when will we all meet again.. and still able to catch up from where we last ended. i will miss you. all of you. *erms. i sound as if i am going NS.. * parted with some of them at a junction. cant help... but start dwelling... what will happen if i decide to go? will you miss me as much as i am gonna miss you? wuji, qing ni yi ding yao hao hao zhao gu zi ji. gui she dao de she hen duo.. yao xiao xin. guo le jin wan.. wo ke neng jiu zai ye bu qu xiang ni. zhi dao ni xin li.. ye xu you ge zhi ruo... zhao min... gao ci le. " i stole a glance at you.
*ting had a flower @ 2:13:00 AM*
5am.. awaken by some force. it was the moon. surprisingly.. every mid autmn, whenever i sleep in mom's room.. i'll awake to the moon's call. it was really big and bright. and very beautiful... it's glow.. it's force.. it's power. really really... beautiful. newspaper said.. if we miss this full moon, we have to wait till nine years later for another one as bright as this. nine years later, we will be watching this moment side by side.. i hope. " jiu nian hou, wo hai
*ting had a flower @ 1:55:00 PM*
chuang qian ming yue guang yi shi di shang shuang ju tou wang ming yue di tou si gu xiang shui diao ge tou - su shi (su dong po) ming yue ji shi you ba jiu wen qing tian bu zhi tian shang gong que jin xi shi he niang? wo yu cheng feng gui qu wei gong qiong lou yu yu gao chu bu sheng han qi wu nong qing ying he si zai ren jian. zhuan zhu ge di yi hu zhao wu mian. bu yin you hen he shi chang xiang bie shi yuan? ren you bei huan li he yue you yin qing yuan que ci shi gu nan quan. dan yuan ren chang jiu qian li gong chan juan. yue xia du zhuo - li bai hua jian yi hu jiu du zhuo wu xiang qin ju bei yao ming yue dui ying cheng san ren. yue ji bu jie yin ying tu sui wo shen zhan ban yue jiang ying xing le(yue) xu ji chun. wo ge yue pai huai wo wu ying ling luan xing shi tong jiao huan zui hou ge fen san. yong jie wu qing you xiang qi miao yun han. __________ // the moon tonight, round and bright. i wished for you by my side. ming liang de ye wan du zi wang chuang wai huan xiang you ni zai... - xiao hua - ---edit--- i finally accepted. i finally defined you. i finally came to terms with reality. " xiao hua ci shi wang ming yue...
*ting had a flower @ 10:07:00 PM*
not only the grease people. its really true hi club has lots of good looking people. anyway.. been listening to Xiao Hu Dui. simply the best. and.. i am not sure. i dont know. oh tmr is tuesday. mid autumn festival. i think it is one of the most romantic festival. more than valentines day. more than christmas. where lovers will be under the moon, with a little paper lantern and burning candles around them.. or where family sit together watching the moon and drinking dragon well tea. where people reunite. may we all be happy.. and be with the one we love on this special occassion.. btw, i am currently president of SPS Hi Club (singel people society, wing of Hi Club) =[ xiaohua hui xiang ni. ni hui xiang qi xiao hua ma? " dan yuan ren chang jiu...
*ting had a flower @ 8:50:00 PM*
xiang zhe ni de gan jue.. shi xing fu de.. neng bei ni xiang zhe de gan jue geng xing fu.. all the time when i had you in my mind, i felt... happy. until dinner time.. high class buffet. hee hee. free treat from the boss! the brownie was.. *orgasmic* that was the only time i didnt think about you. hahahaha chocolate or love? ahhhh... hard decision. while in the cab, with the driver next to me.. the driver popped his hand into his pocket every 10 seconds. takes out a candy, throws it into his mouth, throws the wrapper onto the carpet. chew chew chew hand into pocket again. another sweet. chew chew chew another sweet. chew chew chew another sweet. chew chew chew another sweet... i had to control my laughter. smsed to the two girls sitting behind.. both of them noticed it too! sweat! oh. wo wei bei liang xin shuo le liang ge zi. ridiculous for me to say it out. grr. and.. baby looked sooo good on tv just now. ----edit---- i dont wish to play mind game alone. you are not responding. i dont have much time left to play this game. thinking of you but i'm not happy all of a sudden. .. " level 4.5 activated! " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 11:27:00 PM*
first to class then to OPH then to durian. then all the screwing big times.. made me totally lost control of my temper. i really teared at one moment. i've NEVER fu*king seen any STUPID FAT BITCH as STUPID and FAT as her. i really lost control of myself over her! felt like slapping her up and down, down and up. sang my Angry Ballade dont know how many times cuz of her and her INEXPERIENCE-YET-WANT-TO-TALK-LOUD. well.. still striked a balance tho. the performance was SUPERB. some horribly funny mistakes here and there. really really great job done. went down for lantern candles fire and potato salad. urgh. shall really not write too much about this event. tho i really wish to blog down all the happy moments. heh i am selfish. shall keep it to myself. oH, WUJI!!!! did you get my signal? i cleared level 3 today! i went further to level 4. heh heh heh... i'm surprised.. i dont feel guilty or shamless talking about you and thinking about you (yet). " you can have all my middle fingers.
*ting had a flower @ 2:26:00 AM*
(try www.zhangwuji.blogspot.com and i asure you wont get the right blog) i cleared level one today. however.. seems like i'm the only player! where art thou? time is running out. we only have... 5 years to go. (cuz according to many researchers, women after 25 will not think so much about relationships.) minus the time i may be away.. say.. we only have 2 years. minus the time we both need to train our martial art skills and kungfu skills.. haha we only have 3 days left. hahaha i'm still waiting for your signal... and.. oh.. i think i'll be really sad on children's day. all my msn kakis going away!! boo hoo!! hee hee and CONGRATSSSSSSSSS to my little flower.. you're no longer a recruit!!! YEAH!!!! " i will miss all of you... " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 1:38:00 AM*
i dream of you, wuji, last night. i felt happy in the dream, despite not remembering anything. when i woke up, i wanted to see you. however, i wonder if its wuji or you. de-de-det-de-de-det the sound of signal interference. a signal was sent to you, wuji. and i have not receive one yet, from you. ---- edit ---- this is to my 'once there in my heart'. i am sorry. i just hate it everytime we talk about.. work. in my subconsious, i feel that you are challenging me. i feel so.. mo sheng. wo bu zhi dao yao zen yang he ni shuo hua. shuo de tai duo.. wo pa ni hui li kai. shuo de tai shao... wo zhi dao wo men de ju li you hui bei la kai. mei ci yi tan qi zheng shi, gong shi... zong jue de wo bu xiang bai zai ni shou shang. zong you yi gu hao sheng xin, rang zi ji yi ding pai zai ni qian tou. dui bu qi. wo men zhi jian.. zhen de bu neng zai you ren he gua ge le. zhu ni... xing fu. " i am still playing
*ting had a flower @ 1:21:00 PM*
how about you? started already? how about a little fling before you leave for Snake-Island? haha. received an sms from an unknown number, saying Alec is coming town next week. looks like the real wuji is answering to my mind waves. anyway, here's how you play mind game. you send out brain-waves to another person (your game partner) and your game partner is supposed to receive the signal and send brain-waves to you. but before all, you have to send out signal to one person to initiate to start the game. good luck. " (de-de-det de-de-det) " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 11:38:00 PM*
girl : can i answer you three days later? i just got my period today... ----- hee hee hee... i think this is really funny. oh, Zhang Wu Ji, let's play mind game okie? " make no decisions when
*ting had a flower @ 1:11:00 PM*
when i dont smile, it doesnt mean i cant accomodate.. when i dont look at you, it doesnt mean we cant go for a date.. when i dont have you.. i forget today's date.. (okie the above sounds really... childish.) when i keep quiet, it means i want to listen to you. when i frown, its all because i feel lost without you. when i dont open my eyes, i am actually thinking of you. when you are not with me, i wonder where you will be... (okie the above sounds... weird) i'm writing all these.. because i cant find a better way to tell you how i feel. if you think there is no exit at the end of the road, will you still go forward? that's exactly how i am feeling - unsure. " today's menu -
*ting had a flower @ 11:32:00 PM*
it's the kind of breeze and drizzle i've been long-awaiting for. too bad.. it happened in the day. it would have been so much more romantic if its night. ha, romance-idiot talking about being romantic. anyway, i think wallie is right. i'm afraid of being emotionally attached... anyway.. seemed like we drift a little. just want you to know... i still want you as my very good friend.. okie? " tidbits went missing. " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 11:49:00 PM*
See, I don't.. know why.. I liked you so much, I gave you all of my trust.. I told you.. I loved you.. Now that's all down the drain.. You put me through pain.. I wanna let you know how I feel.. Fuck what I said.. It don't mean shit now.. Fuck the presents, might as well throw 'em out.. Fuck all those kisses, lthey didn't mean jack.. Fuck you, you hoe.. I don't want you back.. You questioned.. Did I care? You can ask anyone.. I even said you were my great one.. Now it's.. over.. But I do admit I'm sad.. It hurts real bad.. I can't sweat that cos I loved a hoe.. Fuck what I said.. It don't mean shit now.. Fuck the presents, might as well throw 'em out.. Fuck all those kisses, lthey didn't mean jack.. Fuck you, you hoe.. I don't want you back.. " brr.. " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 10:31:00 PM*
you. you and you... come in and out of my mind. like mrt passengers. i am sorry. i am thinking too much. you know the feeling? like when you see so-and-so being online.. you just WANT to go say a Hi.. and yet you have to hold back and do it more naturally even though you really dont know how. or like.. people around you mentions sensitive topics.. you have to act really normally.. and sometimes you just go BLANK and cant react at all.. thus have to really find a quick something to say.. and whatever that comes out of your mind sounds atrociously ridiculous.. you want to salvage the situation but you just cant. so you cant defend for yourself. or even like when so-and-so says something really sweet to you... you start wondering if so-and-so is just being nice or ... so you tell youself not to let your imagination run wild. sometimes, body contact could mean nothing to you at all. however, body contact that sends the chill into your heart could make two people really awkward even if only one party feels the chill. another good example.. the more you tell yourself not to think about someone.. the more you actually do. so right now, i shall tell myself to KEEP THINKING OF YOU. only in fear that.. the more i want to think about you, the more i think of us... i just wish to stop. HERE. oh and i do miss the days of falling head over heel over one person.. the really 'i want to be with you' kind of feeling. like.. when you are happy, you think of that person. when you are sad, you think of that person. not just like.. thinking-thinking. but.. wanting to be in that person's embrace when you are sad.. and dance around in circle together when you are happy. you dont even have a specific figure to think about the last few seconds before you fall asleep or a 'target' to dream of at night... or a name to scribble on textbooks. or even a face to sketch. i am THAT pathetic. " i shall one day be Mrs - " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 1:57:00 AM*
my stupid IE couldnt open. so did 'my computer' and 'control panel'. thanks to wall and bear who helped me too. anyway.. bishan today gave me lotsa.. shocks. saw a gay couple holding hands openly.. erms.. hahaha so touching. saw that dong yue ling at bishan giordano. people, PLEASE avoid bishan giordano at all cost. unless you love to see rice dumplings. bought a pink mushroom finally! guess whos the lucky receiver of this little toy? hee and.. throughout the meeting, i was imagining.. what if one day.. people uses Pimples as weapon of mass destruction. *imagines myself bursting that big pimple on my chin* i had a good time laughing inside my head. there was this certain moment, after the meeting, i was having some thoughts. and then i told myself that i have no time to think about relationship. least to say, day dream about it. sometimes i wish i am shancai. sometimes i wish i am xiao yanzi. sometimes i wish i am one of the girls in love with zhang wu ji. hahaha. quite a good sign i will be having my mense cramp soon yeah? and one more thing... i have yet decided. " the reason is... you... " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 1:38:00 AM*
i couldnt decipher a single signal my mind was sending to my heart. neither could i do it the other way round. i simply could not make up my mind. at a loss. its all.. going in different directions. one wave arise before one wave subsides.. i found myself.. thinking of... someone. goodness. I NEED A CLEAR MIND TO THINK. I DONT HAVE TIME FOR RELATIONSHIPS! the moon tonight. it was bright. however... it didnt guide me... i wish today will never end. i wish i could still sit around and joke about the big pimple on my chin. i hate to think about tomorrow!!!!! i dont want to know what it will bring. i feel really buzzed. from the moment i stepped out of the lift.. i lost myself. i walked in a daze.. too many thoughts going on. i need a good sleep. wo hao xiang ku.. ke shi.. wo xiang duo zai ni de huai bao li ku.. " sweetie pie, you really know how.. " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 11:22:00 PM*
gonna do some research on it! like plie and tondu.. wwahahhahaha!!! " and one two three and four and TA! " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 1:16:00 AM*
It is also something we must not take too lightly nor too seriously. Just last night, i dreamt of corpses. lots and lots of them. at least 30. it was scary. i was scared. what if i die the very next moment i step out of house? or what if i die while halfway telling a lame joke? we never know. you never know. i never know. they never know. just know that, i love all of you whom i've met in life. probably except lim fang ping, dong yue ling and ... just one or two more Biatch. oh and PLEASE, spare me from all the pretentious concerns. i doubt you want any of those 'you are still young!!! why worry so much!' when you are looking at Death in an unavoidable perspective! if you really care, you will know whats the right move to approach. " i wanna call my mama
*ting had a flower @ 2:10:00 PM*
whenever a bus comes near me.. i'll inch away.. its been like this. to almost all buses except.. one or two. " i live near the interchange.
*ting had a flower @ 11:35:00 PM*
-Qi Li Xiang, Jie Kou, Hui Dao Guo Qu, An Hao, An Jing, Qing Tian, Yuan You Hui, Ge Qian, Ni Ting De Dao, Ai Zai Xi Yuan Qian, Kai Bu Liao Kou, Shi Jie Mo Ri... sighs.. _______________________ // A MAN fell onto the MRT tracks at Bishan station on Wednesday afternoon and died after being hit by an oncoming train. He was pronounced dead at the scene by officers from the Singapore Civil Defence Force. This has been the fourth death on the MRT tracks since late July. TA MA DE!!!! " he think he drives
*ting had a flower @ 1:25:00 PM*
dinner with the greasies was.. Hmmm..... great and really funny... oh by the way.. you are so self centered. all you care about is yourself. you changed. and i DETEST you. " dichan chuu xiaohua ka. " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 11:48:00 PM*
learnt that the most expensive penthouse in singapore costs 36million.. and there are only two units. and that.. there is a 29 year old local man who drives ferrari spider.. 29 year old. goodness. nice people i met at the shoot. the AD and i share so much similarities that i almost thought.. we were siblings. i'm sleepy. " (something something) " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 1:52:00 AM*
went M.Ritchie for shooting with ADFP people. they are nice. kelvin, the AD is kinda one of a kind, together with Marie. i managed to STUN people again, by holding a stick and slapping it. (think: Slap stick) filming again in the morning. the scene where the character i am playing, Sharon, kills herself and dies by a tree (with lots of ants, buggies and UFOs).. headed back NP to help for this editing workshop for a group of HI people.. entered the room.. DEJA VU.. all the 'deep in my heart i just know.. ' people. Audrey is still with Andrew.. Charelene, Allan, Louis, Marcus.. etc.. dinner was great. with someone never stop talking about SCHOOL.. home. and still with a heavy head. p/s: one of the brownie's rule is to LEND A HAND. and you know, i'm more than willing... to do it for you anytime. " 12k for two years
*ting had a flower @ 11:25:00 PM*
no. 2 - exposing myself to the sun, unprotected, yet not sun tanning... no. 3 - the SPECIAL moment where two people's gaze locks and... if felt like... no. 4 - hands into pocket, its all empty. the PAST is finally back... guo qu zhen de hui lai le... " what are you doing here! " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 1:14:00 AM*
yeah and let SURPRISES come in different forms, like.. inside envelopes!! i received a kinder surprise today! and i am HAPPY. =] you know it! " I love it. Absolutely wonderful! " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 11:30:00 PM*
" sleep early, drink more water. " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 10:05:00 PM*
One day, a kind angel saw the worn-out old woman. The angel pities her and thus gave her a goose. "I'll give you a big goose. It will lay a big egg for you everyday." "One egg a day? Isnt it the same as the geese of other household" The old woman asked in amazement. The angel smiled and replied "This goose, it doesnt lay the normal kind of egg. It lays golden eggs." The old woman was very happy with her new treasure. So from that day onwards, old woman sells the golden egg and bought many things. She became rich within days. This day, the old woman sat on her rocking chair and ponder "one edd a day.. how many days do i have to wait? How good will it be if i can scoop all the golden eggs at once!" Upon that, she took a chopping knife, walked to the goose and sliced its stomach open only to land in disappointment "Where are the eggs?! There isnt even one!" Very soon, she became poor again. " Eggs on Earth may soon Extinct. " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 1:04:00 PM*
loves to say 'see, i knew it' loves to say 'thats what i told you' loves to say 'see, i fixed it' loves to say 'how do you know' loves to brag and nag. loves to complain. loves themselves more than anyone else. " GO AWAY! " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 10:43:00 PM*
another reason to be happy. i'm losing my voice again. boo hoo hoo.. " eating fishballs on rainy days is romantic. " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 10:17:00 PM*
met up with caos jiao ckp and sb today for lalala session. was really a bonkers-get-together. rushed down kallang to meet up with greasies and had our rehearsals at sadeaf, that ended with me wanting to SING SONG. went down bugis with some of the greasies and had dinner togther with them and the bonkers. shall skip all the real good stuffs. on the whole, i had a really GOOD day. of course, a 'surprise' keeps me anticipating and hopeful. thank you, i know i will love whatever you have done. " wo shi leng mian.
*ting had a flower @ 11:41:00 PM*
is when you lose touch with the virtual world. is when you are unable to even play Free Cell. is when you cant communicate with your online diary... i am so isolated. this entry is typed at wallie's house, after checking my email, with 7 pages of new mails, 5.5 pages spams... BOO HOO HOO!! " insatiable... " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 5:56:00 PM*
first, i found evan's hp and managed to contact my long lost 'brother'. second, a piece of news which may determine my future. third, an answer to a question i had in mind since long ago, thanks parents for the answer. parents are always there. forth, a meal which i had been longing for, for the longest time since july. life is not tt bad afterall. you lose and you gain. had a fruitful session in school today, at least for me. =] had a little debate with mini-me. concluding, i wanna speak fluent dialects, speak, write and type good chinese, have a better command of english. a bit of dilemma now. dont know who to speak to tho. someone i trust of course. " what will you say? " ::::
*ting had a flower @ 12:31:00 AM*
| |
| Powered by TagBoard Message Board |