Wednesday, May 14, 2008

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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

life is a cult.
The group displays excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader and (whether he is alive or dead) regards his belief system, ideology, and practices as the Truth, as law.

i am in theatre. i dont EARN from those performances. but i still put my 1000% into it everytime.
staying up till super late to make props, edit scripts...

‪ Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished.

liren always tell us to 'believe in the directors, the production team'.

‪ Mind-altering practices (such as meditation, chanting, speaking in tongues, denunciation sessions, and debilitating work routines) are used in excess and serve to suppress doubts about the group and its leader(s).

we are always told 'if you believe you can, you can'.

‪ The leadership dictates, sometimes in great detail, how members should think, act, and feel (for example, members must get permission to date, change jobs, marry—or leaders prescribe what types of clothes to wear, where to live, whether or not to have children, how to discipline children, and so forth).

director tells us wht to wear.

‪ The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, its leader(s) and members (for example, the leader is considered the Messiah, a special being, an avatar—or the group and/or the leader is on a special mission to save humanity).

we are here to salvage the local arts industry.

‪ The group has a polarized us-versus-them mentality, which may cause conflict with the wider society.

us - the production team. them - the audience
they dont understand the effort put in. but they still complain about technical flaws.

‪ The leader is not accountable to any authorities (unlike, for example, teachers, military commanders or ministers, priests, monks, and rabbis of mainstream religious denominations).

come on, it's arts. no one should restrict us. just do what you really want to do.
write what you really want to write. heck what they say.

‪ The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary. This may result in members' participating in behaviors or activities they would have considered reprehensible or unethical before joining the group (for example, lying to family or friends, or collecting money for bogus charities).

we lie to our family "the show is fucking good"
we lie to our friends "the ticket is fucking cheap. it's fucking worth every dollar"

‪ The leadership induces feelings of shame and/or guilt in order to influence and/or control members. Often, this is done through peer pressure and subtle forms of persuasion.

XXX has already sold 29 tickets. YYY has already sold 25 tickets.
what about you PPP and WWW?

‪ Subservience to the leader or group requires members to cut ties with family and friends, and radically alter the personal goals and activities they had before joining the group.

if you are thinking of becoming a superstar, you are wrong. you are here for PASSION.

‪ The group is preoccupied with bringing in new members.

we need to outsource hair stylist and make up artist. QUICK WE NEED CONTACTS.
GET YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!!!

‪ The group is preoccupied with making money.

we should increase our ticket priceeee.......

‪ Members are expected to devote inordinate amounts of time to the group and group-related activities.

from next month onwards, we will have full dress rehearsal EVERY SUNDAY. 2pm onwards.
then at 8pm we will have group discussions....

‪ Members are encouraged or required to live and/or socialize only with other group members.

if you have doubts, talk to us, talk to your directors, talk to your co-actors....
both of you should spend more time together to find the chemistry needed for this show...
spend more time with each other......
come.... here..........

‪ The most loyal members (the “true believers”) feel there can be no life outside the context of the group. They believe there is no other way to be, and often fear reprisals to themselves or others if they leave (or even consider leaving) the group.

post production syndrome.
"sigh.. suddenly feel so lost... what's there to do now?"
"lets have another show... quick!!"
"sigh.. i feel so weird around my friends, i miss the rehearsal times..."


SHIT. i'm in a cult. ::::

Monday, May 12, 2008

recently on 超級星光大道二
yuming sang 追.

Roger cried. it reminded him of his good friend, the late Leslie.

and said he felt irresponsible as a friend.

i guess we are all guilty of that.

i miss the friendship we used to share. ::::

Sunday, May 11, 2008

just let me vent
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Saturday, May 10, 2008

痛


how many times have i cried today? i really dont remember.
i dont remember anything anymore.

all i remember is crying really hard while walking on the street.
crying all alone.
and crying now, alone at home.

crying since night fall.
till dawn came and left.
till sun sets.

and still crying. ::::

i envy

the common folks life.


the common topics couples fight about :
capping the toothpast back,
squeezing the toothpaste from the bottom,
putting the socks together properly,
the food is too salty,
Angelina Jolie is NOT hot,
no i dont snore,
malaysia is dangerous,
Go see a doctor,
shower before you sleep,
brush your teeth properly...



i envy.

the simple life.
the simple wishes.
the simple ambitions.
the simple us.

" people change but forget to tell each other. "

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Friday, May 09, 2008

hmm...
tengteng has a powerful voice.
her 你是爱我的 was so damn good.
when i heard her sing, my hair stood.
my eyes were watery.
the kind of 感动 everyone is talking about.

ROCK!!!! ::::

hectic.

was at Kster with lia wing and hel till close to 2am.
known hel for so long. my butt finally had the honour to caress her car seat two days back. today's the third time in three days. wmahahahhaah all thanks to lia.


and within 10 hours, i was back at kster.
this time with breadie.

i am so proud of myself.
i remember the different parts of all the 星光帮songs.
i sang almost all the songs 潘裕文sang in the competition!!!!!!

i recounted the no. of times 潘美辰 did the famous fist action in the 一生拖给一个人。
it's 16. not 15.

i sang 蔡依琳、蔡琴、玖建。。。

left chinatown at 4pm
and was back by 7pm.

went Play with the clan people.
and just got home...
tmr's gonna be another long and busy day.

CK asked me to go visit her soon.
must check with my missus if she's keen...

and i'm still awake. all thanks to 星光2帮
ah

i'm addicted to tv. and 星光帮。

:D

" 和你合唱流星下的愿 "

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Thursday, May 08, 2008

i seldom post videos.
so this is really a must watch.
damn hilarious.

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Wednesday, May 07, 2008

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Tuesday, May 06, 2008

day 94





brought jungle to swim on saturday.





and to s. gardens on sat evening.


all you gay dogs scream!!!!!!!!!



Reena and i have set the BIG day to be on 13june. thank goodness its a friday!!
*exciteddddd*


and it's amazing how people. even LOVED ones, people who should have known you well enough.
can mistake your verbal language.

when a 'given up hope' reply could be mis-read as a 'matured' one.

wtf is wrong with you.
you fucking screw things up and now you think i screw it up.
when the truth is YOU ARE STILL SCREWING IT UP.

you want to see the truth in your face? fine i will show you.
in NO TIME.

" 肩碰肩，微笑着。。。"

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Sunday, May 04, 2008

Exclusively Sale.


why the fuck do i even want to be a member when the member's exclusive stops at the free cup of ice lemon tea.

if its an exclusive sale, why the fuck invite the public.
knn.

still say what support.
wtf has the public done. knn. they might as well bring their ah gong ah mahs.

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE WHEN YOU SAY THE SALE IS EXCLUSIVE.


i dont believe in exclusiveness anymore.

because at the end of the day, it wears away.

MEMBERSHIP?
i can it is dispensable too.
not like i use that membership to ask you for anything.

be the way, you're welcome. ::::

Friday, May 02, 2008

Wan Raeng Ngan
wan ni bpen wan raeng ngan. bpen wan yut!
mai mi tamngann.

bpai gin kao tiang gap pisao yuu tii Shokudo.
gin yerk yerk!!! dtae paeng bpai noi.
gao sip dollar!!!!!

kit teung phat thai yuu khao san. yee sip baht ja.
singapore tuk yang paeng maak.

leow bpai shopping noi.
leow bpai novena gap jas, jh, rina.
gin steamboat.
yim maak!!!
dtae dtong nii... hiw leow!!!!

=/

wan nii wan BIG DAY.

tam 'project nin9'jaak wan nii tueng 7th august.

=]
YAY!

hiw !!!!!!

" mai bpen rai. chan lem leow.
puan bpen ting dai. "

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Saturday, April 26, 2008

part of the 9.
Total Package Price 169.98 SGD
(as of 2355hr, 26th april 08)

shall monitor till the price drops to 150 and below.

*excited*

reminders:
1. call up SY. settle rescue asap.
2. call jinger. settle capoeira.
3. spend wisely. and SAVE SAVE SAVE!!!!!

hopefully the plan to go see Las Vegas on monday with mr E falls nicely!!

" 將你的手緊握 "

::::

finally did it!!!

a nice notebook, a pen, colourful markers and some beautiful stickers.

and off i am to start my little project!
99 days are all i have.

YAY!



-----
when you do something for a loved one,
it's an instinct.
not a responsibility.

when you keep your promise to a loved one,
it's an enjoyment.
not a committment.

love is emotional. not technical.
it can't be taught. but can be learned.

it's between people in love.
not amongst people in the audience. ::::

Friday, April 25, 2008

back!
short getaway.
didnt do what we had planned.
plans changed.
but still good.

now i'm HUNRGY!!!!!!!!!!!

cheers beer every night. phad thai almost everyday.
tom yum also every day.

very good life.

for every little good things in life... CHEERS!!!!

" you chicken pork. "

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Saturday, April 19, 2008

twelve hours
before i leave on a tiger plane.

you know, you make me feel so guilty all the time.
yet you are always there.
everywhere.
tho not all the time.
but good enough to make me feel guilty of wanting you.

i'm still thinking about you.

brownie...

ah that's my 死血。


so is diving.
so is tv.
so is makingfiends.com.
so is so many things..

life is indeed an addiction.

not participation. but an addiction. ::::

Friday, April 18, 2008

fuck you la.
when you are in a relationship,
its YOU AND YOUR OTHER HALF who work things out.

you dont need a third party to come into the picture.

when you want to improve on a relationship,
its YOU AND YOUR OTHER HALF who work things out.

you dont need a third party to keep you committed.

no one else can tell you what your other half wants except she herself.

and when you make a committment to the third party to be a good gf, then you are fucking doing it for the third party.

dont you fucking see?

kaninna.

dont you fucking understand?

its a fucking mind game.

i dont need a third person or PERSONS to help me in understanding what my other half needs.
I SHOULD BE THE ONE DOING IT WILLINGLY.

knnbccb.

::::

two~

xiao shi mei and xiao lin left for the airport today at 4am.
hopefully da shi jie can get her tickets too so we'll all for for the wulindahui and zhan yao chu mo.

will be there in two days time.


and the better thing here is..



meeting sethie and gor for dinner after that.

then tmr is another day of staying awake as much as possible, then K-OK with a bunch of people before heading to the airpork to 'camp' till check in time.

i am so gonna go t3.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEE

then thailand here i come and diving, here i go!!!!!

when i come back, i am gonna make sure jungle gets his full groom and pork answering my question!

" you take blanket, you smelly virgina. "

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Thursday, April 17, 2008

thank you!
my birthday present part II from Jh, Rina, Zenn, Jo, Leslie and June has arrived!!!!!!



plus a year's subscription to ScubaDiverAA!!!!!
that's not all.

there's a monthly 'new subscriber' lucky draw.
and i was one of the three lucky ones!!



a pair of MorFins worth 99USD!!!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

thank you thank you!!!!!!!


when times are down, every happiness seems eternal.
i need this feeling. ::::

c r a z y

sleepless night count: four.

by the way, people DO CHANGE.
it's things that dont.

people change thing.


and LIFE is an ADDICTION.
just how severe or minor your addiction is.

mine addiction seem to be as severe as yours.

but i'll go crazy even if you are not.

save me. ::::

Monday, April 14, 2008

beliefs
beliefs give people hopes.
but believing to live is dangerous.

when you believe in something, you seem to have find a new direction, important lessons and more importantly, a new sense of superiority (thank you ms Cat for high lighting this).

you believe in it.
you believe then in your judgement.
you believe you are clear headed and alert enough.
you believe you decision is right.
(if your decision isnt right, will you still go ahead and believe in it?)

then you get angry when people start to look out for you.
start to warn you.

they dont seem to know you. neither do they understand you and your needs.

they do not see the values of your beliefs.
you are upset.
you dont want them to defame your beliefs.
because you dont want to realise you made a mistake.

you want to remain superior.

then you will sink deeper.
because your beliefs is where you can be most at ease with.
with no one there telling you words you dont wish to hear.
and you sink deeper..


and deeper..


and you dont realise you are straining relationships with everyone else.
you just dont want to wake up from the trance.
you want to believe that your decision is right.
because without your beliefs, you will not have self-confidence..

you break the hearts of people who truly care.




two sleepless nights in a row.
what can i say.

i have chose to believe that by staying awake, i stay away from nightmares.
and now i know, it's a big mistake.

nightmares in the day are truly more frightening than those at night. ::::

Friday, April 11, 2008

film fest bite
a last minute decision.
to skip my malay class and rush via expensive cab to catch the 7pm film.
tmd. the taxi fare was 22.50
wtf.
from adams road to shaw orchard.
really think its irritating. i hope the people up there can for once take public transport for just ONE WEEK.
we commoners dont earn enough to support the local ARTS scene.
so please dont bullshit about wanting the local art scene to flourish.

no link.

I watched The Life at lido classics.
and ms N was at substation watching 33 days.
both films were.. not as good as amina/rebel.

anyway..

i'm ready! today's the.. 11th. which means..

excited,
ting.

" meimei finance wishes you a happy friday.
thank you for choosing meimei finance. "

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Tuesday, April 08, 2008

pop!




thank you for the poppling time!

Love!!

" so understood yet and so misunderstood. "

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Monday, April 07, 2008

Amina
was worth watching.
even more when the director flew all the way and only touchdown JUST before the screening. and rushed down for the Q&A.

someone asked How's Amina now. the answer came as a shock. the director is hidding her because people are after her for revenge.

whee.

film fest rocks.
sistic sucks.
citibank, you need to save paper la.

overall experience.. PRICELESS. ::::

film festttt

watched my first film on 5th. Tuya's Marriage.
and Irina Palm yesterday.

tuya was quite good. irina palm was very funny actually.

was irritated by sistic AGAIN.

they needed the credit card holder to be THERE too so i can collect my tickets.

and when i finally managed to get the card holder down, THEY DIDNT EVEN ASK TO VERIFY IF THE CARD AS HIS.
i could have just GRAB any stranger and fake a YES THIS IS MY CARD.

WTF.

sistic, your system is quite rigid. and your 15 minutes limit for internet booking is a waste of time.
i spent 90minutes and still didnt get to book my tickets okie?

sistic, your $3 handling charge is abit overpriced.

sistic, i wish you can quickly improve your quality of this ticketing system.
because many of us depend on your system to buy tickets.
your failure to improve would ceraintly affect the results of ticket sales.
especially from ME.
and you know WORD OF MOUTH is the greatest influence.

WORK IT OUT PLEASE.

and i am still very looking forward to the rest of the 5 films i'll be watching!

okie! time for breakfast!!!!

" it's an honour to treat penis elbow *grin* "

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